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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 January 2012 01:33 am |
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A good friend, Fat Bastard of Bigger Fatter Politics has graciously given me his permission to post this snippet from his highly popular blog.
http://biggerfatterpolitics.blogspot.com/2012/01/coming-soon-proud-fas-obesogenic-diet.html
Gaining Tips. A glutton's guide for packing on the fat and pounds.
Start with tasty fattening like sweet tea or other foods that have calories for your body.
Examine your current eating habit and stop consuming those with negative effects on your weight gain plan.
Find a book of calories and learn what type of food that will help you gain weight.
Sit.
Invest in food delivery service.
Watch your consumption of foods that have a lot of fiber, eat refined sugar and fat, resist temptations to snack on vegetables, and whole grains. Increase fatty red meat. Eat with ferocity.
Super-size your dinner plate, the more food that is served to you, the more you will eat. The same goes for liquid with the exception of water. Avoid water!
Frequent napping daily for 30 to 45 minutes. Buy a pedometer and aim for under 100 steps a day.
Find opportunities to conserve calories by taking the elevator and get others to run errands for you.
Eat quickly and excitedly, if you eat too slowly your brain will eventually tell you that you are no longer hungry.
Drink lots of heavy cream, at least 8 glasses a day.
Nap and doze frequently.
When doing your groceries, pick hig-fat foods, like milk, cheese, cream, butter , yogurt etc.
Snack on fruits, candied apples and chocolate covered raisins.
Eat more at home and have your meals delivered.
Be mindful of your salad dressing, the type and how much and pour it on liberally.
People tend to under-eat when they are depressed or stressed, so be mindful to indulge in comfort-food when you feel down.
Place notes at strategic locations for eg on the fridge door that reminds you that you are trying to gain weight.
Reward yourself after each weekly success. Indulge and pig-out
Make a list of all the yummy foods that you crave and tend to binge on and eat as many of those foods as you can get your greedy paws on.
Make a list of clothes that will look good on you once you gain weight.
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artistjohn
Moderator
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Posted: 15 March 2012 04:54 pm |
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| deleted previous post as JSABD uses Diet Coach as another name
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 March 2012 12:51 am |
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artistjohn wrote: deleted previous post as JSABD uses Diet Coach as another name
John you are getting a little bit carried away. You would not want me giving Diet Coach any ideas would you? 
You may want to think about the vulgar stuff you post and deleting that. It really sullies the forum.
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artistjohn
Moderator
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Posted: 16 March 2012 09:40 am |
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Bunt meaning baseball shot.
Mind you one letter difference would describe you perfectly an absolute Bunt!!!
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 March 2012 07:10 am |
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artistjohn wrote: Bunt meaning baseball shot.
Mind you one letter difference would describe you perfectly an absolute Bunt!!!
Nir, why is this cretin a mod? Young people come to CPH.
I don't know how it would describe me but one letter would describe you girly boy. Aunt.
First off don't even try to match wits with an American let alone this American. We don't come up with lame remarks. Even though Shakespeare used puns they are still retarded.
You need to apologize to the forum Aunt John.
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artistjohn
Moderator
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Posted: 18 March 2012 05:04 pm |
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U.S. Statistic Highlights
89% of American could locate the United States on a map whereas 95% of the French could locate the United States. It's embarrassing that roughly 1 in 10 Americans could NOT find their own country on a map.
* 49% of Americans could not find New York State on a map
* 51% could not locate Pennsylvania
* 69% could not find Massachusetts
Make you feel proud to be American
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JSABD
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 18 March 2012 06:16 pm |
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artistjohn wrote: U.S. Statistic Highlights
89% of American could locate the United States on a map whereas 95% of the French could locate the United States. It's embarrassing that roughly 1 in 10 Americans could NOT find their own country on a map.
* 49% of Americans could not find New York State on a map
* 51% could not locate Pennsylvania
* 69% could not find Massachusetts
Make you feel proud to be American
USA has the highest GDP in the world.
USA put a man on the moon.
Most inventions are American.
People migrate to the USA.
We kick #%@&! in the Olympics.
We have good dentists.
We wouldn't kill a great lady like Princess Diana.
We invented the space shuttle.
We invented the internet and 99% of it's technology.
We saved your butts in WW-1 and WW-2
We would never have anyone as stupid as Neville Chamberlain.
Michael Bisping is a jerk and Dan Henderson an old man put his lights out.
We make the best movies.
We have the best TV shows.
We have the best navy, army and air force.
We have normal ears.
We have the best athletes.
We have the hottest looking movie stars.
I think you Brits need to figure out that if it were not for the US of A you'd all be speaking German now.
So Aunt John you tried to match wits with a Yank and look what happened. There must be something in the water that makes us superior.
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