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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 January 2012 10:24 pm |
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Hmmm, well I spent some time and went through my old diary hoping to gain some insight and boy did I ever. I have been claiming that my big slide of the eating wagon came when I broke my arm/elbow last year....well time for the truth...I was slipped BEFORE my injury. I was already into about my 3rd week of sliding when that happened. I can honestly say the eating had slipped but I was exercising, the injury looks like it was just the excuse I needed to really mess up and be live me for 9 months I did. What I now see is that the whole thing really started with a can of chocolate Poppycock. I already knew that I have to be careful of sweets because I really am a sweetaholic but I now realize how serious this is for me. I seem to be OK if I have a very small piece of candy or a couple of bites of cake, but as for things like Poppycock...nope not for me.
Silly, but I am sitting here feeling sad realizing that I really do have a problem when it comes to sweets. I can not imagine giving them up but I really see no choice. I do fine until I let myself have a little pig out and then I'm sunk it seems. Now for some reason the one sweet I can have in moderation is ice cream which I also love so that is a keeper and like I said I can have an occasional, very occasional small amount but I had better be careful and if a small amount is too much then it has to be zero.
Well, as I stole from the Gatorade commercial...I can throw in the towel or use it to wipe the sweat off my face. I am choosing the to wipe the sweat off, but I now know it is a choose I am going have to make very consciously for a long time, if not forever.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 19 January 2012 10:29 pm |
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| Great insight there Hiker...a can of Poppycock! I should go back and look at what caused my slip! Thanks for the idea. And...forward we go!!!
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 21 January 2012 06:52 pm |
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Boy yesterday was a challenge on the food front but all in all it worked out. I met a friend for lunch and we tried this new place, guess it's a chain, Chipolte Grill. It was a little challenging to find something but they had "bowls" which were basically burritos w/out the burrito. It had grilled chicken, beans, a little rice, corn and lettuce. I checked it out on line and it had 390 calories, a little high for lunch but really not too bad.
At supper time my husband was in the mood for Chinese, at first I said no way but then I checked out their menu and they had steamed vegetables and shrimp, the sauce was served on the side. So I had that w/ a 1/2 cup of white rice ( i really wanted more but I stopped at 1/2 cup) that meal was about 460 calories so again, not a bad choice. The day came in at 1347 calories so I was happy with that.
It's snowing here today so I have the munchies of course but I am just toughing it through, sometimes there is really nothing else we can do.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 21 January 2012 06:55 pm |
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I love Chipotle but you do have to be careful what you eat there. Everything adds up. The bowls are good, or if you get a burrito without any cheese or sour cream or guac (basically meat, veggies, black beans and salsa), you can eat half (and save half for tomorrow and it is really yummy too.  Happy Saturday Hiker!
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 January 2012 01:08 am |
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Thanks Mols, I will keep that in mind next time I go there and I' m sure I will, it was pretty good.
Today was a little challenging, the guys in my house are huge Patriots fans so it was all about the game today which means too many munchies around for my sake. So I took my book and went upstairs. It worked, if I had stayed down I know I would have been eating them. Sometimes I just have to remove myself from the situation if I can't be in control. I am glad I did. Well the guys were all happy when the Pats won so of course SuperBowl Sunday will be tough. When the Pats aren't in it they still watch but when they are, they watch all most all day....tons of pre game stuff or highlights or whatever the heck it is, in any case another Sunday with too much bad stuff is coming up so I need to start now to find ways to cope. I can't lock myself in my room with a book for 8 or 10 hours. Or can I  .
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 January 2012 04:17 am |
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Hey Hiker - good research figuring out how sweets are the trigger. You gotta know your enemy.
Woah, that's rough for you when the Pat's are in the SB, huh? Well - it's just one day - you can do it!
Last edited on 23 January 2012 04:18 am by jackbenimble
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Tankgirl
Senior Member
| Joined: | 1 July 2011 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 504 |
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Posted: 23 January 2012 10:44 am |
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| How about going out for some fun of your own? Shopping would be my first suggestion since most of the active outings are closed in the winter. I know this is kind of hokey, but maybe bowling?
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 23 January 2012 06:07 pm |
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I vote for 8 hours of the Puppy Bowl!  So cute...
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 23 January 2012 10:18 pm |
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Steampunk, Mols, thanks for the suggestions, both shopping and/or watching the puppy bowl sound like great ideas. Maybe I will do a little of both.
I was thinking about some cardio ideas for someone else and decided to post those ideas in my diary in case I want to come back to them and if anyone has any other ideas I would love to hear them (excpet jogging...I hate jogging) I like to try and have fun while I get my cardio in.
- Cardio classes at the gym--Kick or Step. To a lesser extent Zumba and Groove.
- Walking--regular or speed, with or without weights.
- DVD's at home. aerobics, salsa, jumping
- Cycling--inside or out.
- Roller Blading
- Hula hooping
- Jump Roping
- Cross country skiing, snow shoeing
- Dancing
- Ice skating
- Basketball
- Skipping--I know it sounds dumb but I do love this one. I love to try and skip as far as I can. Then it becomes a walk/skip. I have discovered when you skip by people they just can't help but smile...which of course makes me smile.
Last edited on 26 January 2012 11:05 am by Hiker
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 January 2012 10:03 pm |
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Well just got back from the MD, now instead of one surgery I need two...just lovely. They had hoped to be able to do them in one but it turns out that although they still can because of the location of the two issues there is a strong likelihood of the surgery sites not healing properly. Well, no way I want to take that chance so as much as I don't want two surgeries I would rather have a good shot of them both healing properly. g. Anyway, she said to cut out the weights until after at least the first surgery, and then we would see. Grrrrr. I can of course still do kick and step but even those will have to be curtailed when I have the surgery...she said anywhere from a month to several depending on how I do. This is getting stupid, it's been almost a year and I really did not expect to be dealing with this stuff still, now it looks like it will be another year or close to. Who ever heard of a fractured arm that takes 2 years to heal?? And she tells me I have done really well. I sure don't feel that way. It is just so frustrating.
OK, my pity party is over , life goes on and this too shall pass. Time to suck it up and get over myself.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 January 2012 11:10 pm |
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Tough new on the surgery, Hiker. It's really an inconvenience.
It's funny why skipping is considered so sort of unusual, shall we say, compared to walking or jogging. It's kind of like, hey, you're a grown-up now, you're not allowed to do the fun, playful things your did as a child.
I think if you like it, then you have to go for it! It's exercise, it's aerobic, it won't bother you're arm, even. If anyone has a problem with that, they are just complete noodle-heads.Last edited on 24 January 2012 11:11 pm by jackbenimble
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 24 January 2012 11:43 pm |
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| Jack, you are right that people view skipping as a little off beat but when I do it I find most people get a kick out of it....I think they think they wouldn't do that but they sort of wish they did. I wonder why we look at skipping as unusual, you make a very good point, how different is it really from walking or jogging...it's just happy walking I think.
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mchen01
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 25 January 2012 12:31 am |
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I've never heard of that many surgeries on a fractured arm either. You must have had some pretty bad damage there. That's such a bummer Hiker. Sorry to hear that. 
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artistjohn
Moderator
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Posted: 25 January 2012 07:15 pm |
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Hi hiker,
I used to do a lot of skipping but found it aggravated Achilles tendons.
Boxers use skipping in a big way for cardio. I had a boxers skipping rope as well. Where the rope goes into the wooden handles it has ball bearings to make it swing quicker.
Try you tube for some ideas.
Found this clip. He is using a hinged rope, you can buy them online;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2Vrg1Y25cLast edited on 25 January 2012 07:21 pm by artistjohn
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 January 2012 11:01 am |
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Artistjohn, thanks, jumping rope is a great and fun idea, I have added it to my list.
Went ou to eat with a friend last night but I did well, I ordered split pea soup and a 1/2 salad. I use very little dressing so the calorie total was pretty good even though the salad had walnuts, cheese and chicken in it. I even held strong when my friend orderd a child sundae and even stronger when they accidently made a full size and she wanted to share it with me. It did point out to me the importance of us being firm....she didn't send the sundae back or ask them to cut it in half, and in the end she ate it all and really didn't want to. I understand, it was there. It kind of showed me that we need to be sure we stand up for ourselves. I waitresses for years, I am not saying be nasty but she could easily have exlplained she appreciated it but really didn't want that much food and could the waitress please just cut in half and not seve the other half. It wouldn't have been a big deal but instead she left feeling over full and not happy with herself.
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toughcookies
New Member
| Joined: | 22 January 2012 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: 29 January 2012 12:31 am |
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Hiker wrote:- Cardio classes at the gym--Kick or Step. To a lesser extent Zumba and Groove.
- Walking--regular or speed, with or without weights.
- DVD's at home. aerobics, salsa, jumping
- Cycling--inside or out.
- Roller Blading
- Hula hooping
- Jump Roping
- Cross country skiing, snow shoeing
- Dancing
- Ice skating
- Basketball
- Skipping--I know it sounds dumb but I do love this one. I love to try and skip as far as I can. Then it becomes a walk/skip. I have discovered when you skip by people they just can't help but smile...which of course makes me smile.
Nice idea list! I smiled just from reading about skipping. I want to take up jumping rope again, once my weight comes down some. Jumping on a mini-trampoline was another exercise I used to like doing. Stopped doing it after reading that it burns very few calories, but maybe it could be like a "rest day" exercise.
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toughcookies
New Member
| Joined: | 22 January 2012 |
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| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: 29 January 2012 12:35 am |
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Congrats on sticking to your eating plan while at the restaurant! And even passing up on a sundae! 
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 January 2012 11:49 am |
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Way to stick to your guns, Hiker. I'm having a tough time doing that when there's an extra treat around. Hat's off to you!
That's some amazing jump-rope video of Floyd Mayweather. I used to do some of those tricks on the jump-rope back in that day - crossing the hands, double/triple hops, rope off to the side. I haven't done it many years - maybe they have one down the gym.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 29 January 2012 06:12 pm |
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Hiker, I'm really sorry to hear about not one, but 2 surgeries. That has been a life-changing and frustrating event...which seems to never end. However, giving yourself the best long-run recovery scenario is the right decision, and every day you are one day closer to being "done" with dealing with the doctors and surgeries and just getting on with the rest of your life. My thoughts are with you, and keep doing the best that you can. Thanks for being such a supportive person while you are going through your own crud, it speaks volumes about your character.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 29 January 2012 10:11 pm |
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ToughCookies, Mols, Jack, thanks for stopping by and the support really is important to me, I really appreciate it.
I slipped a little this weekend but I am feeling strong so I think I will be right back on track on Monday....if not then time for anyone who wants to to give me a shove.
This weekend was my nephews pinewood derby and my husband helps them as neither of their moms is good with that kind of thing. They had a great time and I was really glad to see the pack mentality was that it was about having fun. Before we left the youngest one told me very solemnly...."some people think it's about trohpys...but it is NOT, it is about FUN". It was so cute coming from a 6 year old and like I said sure we all know in life there are winners and losers but I was so happy to see his pack set that....it's about fun mentality and they really seemed to stick to it. Now I am not of the everyone should get an award mentality but I do think that everyone should enjoy the activity and they seemed to.
Now onward to my own life's challenges.
Last edited on 29 January 2012 10:12 pm by Hiker
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JamesH
New Member
| Joined: | 27 November 2011 |
| Location: | Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 189 |
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Posted: 30 January 2012 12:52 am |
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Hey Hiker, I think I have proven many times over the past couple months that you can slip up and over indulge a couple times during the week and still rebound and end the week on a good note. I know you are not suppose to get on the scale every day, but it helps to motivate me to work a little harder if I see the scale going the wrong direction early in the week. Saturday morning is my "Official" weekly weigh in, that way I can enjoy the weekend then pay for it during the week. Did not really plan it that way, just kinda worked out that way. Anyway, I don't think all this hard work would be worth it if I could not enjoy some guilty pleasures occasionally.
Bummer about the surgeries on your arm, hope they get it right this time.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 31 January 2012 09:41 pm |
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| Oh, O, still strugging to get back on track.
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artistjohn
Moderator
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Posted: 31 January 2012 10:28 pm |
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Hi hiker
Re the paleo lifestyle. I copied a post I did a week or so ago for you, with a pretty inspiring link. Hope you agree
Hi James
Thanks for calling in!
I have read 3 books on paleo and find "The primal Blue Print" by Mark Sisson is the best.
There are blogs and websites that have forums. I enjoy this site it's smaller and more friendly. Marks site is good but the forums are not moderated and quite aggressive stuff gets posted.
Have a look it at this 'you tube' clip it explains paleo, hunter gatherer type eating in a fairly clear and concise way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjgBLwH3Wc&feature=player_embedded
Hope this helps.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 February 2012 12:33 pm |
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| Not there yet, but trying.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 7 February 2012 02:54 pm |
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| That's the spirit, Hiker. We're pulling for ya!
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 8 February 2012 11:31 am |
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Its a new day! Hope you have a great one Hiker! I know it can be so difficult to get restarted but you'll thank yourself.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 8 February 2012 10:21 pm |
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At least I think I know why I am not doing well, I have another surgery on my arm scheduled for next Monday and it gets me depressed. The recovery period is so long, not like I will be housebound but as for any progress at the gym...it won't happen. I just so want this whole thing done with but now they are talking about weeks of PT again. I know  wah, wah, wah. Time to suck it up and live with it, there are certainly people who have it a lot worse. But I am pretty sure that is what is causing this eating binge, you can't just say...be in a good mood. So I guess I need to find a way to keep myself on track through the dark mood becuase I sure can't seem to get out of this funk.
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 12:45 am |
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I'm sorry Hiker.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 08:37 am |
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It's rough Hiker. Well, I'm going to pull the nuke out on this one - my sister's is in a wheelchair, a paraplegic. She's one of the most inspirational people I know. Her mantra is - focus on what you have. She's happy, caring, prosperous and accomplished - a pleasure to spend time with. Keep a positive attitude - treat it like it is, something trying to get you down that you will overcome with your own weapons, mental, physical and emotional. Emphasize your strengths!
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 11:27 am |
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Sassy and Jack, thanks and Jack your sister in law is right. I know that in my head and she is the perfect example of what I meant when I said I know this is nothing compared to what some people deal with. She really is an inspiration, the trick is although I know what you say is true, I know it in my head....I need to believe it in my heart. I know this is nothing and I need to get over it. I'm working on it.
Now don't get me wrong I am not so self pitying I think this is ruining my life....I'm just bummed becasue of the limitations and for me that gives me the excuse I need to eat which of course is stupid.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 12:15 pm |
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Hiker - it's tough when you have an injury like that. I don't think it's nothing. It's something, and it's not insignificant. It's really hard to get inspired when you're dealing with health issues. At this point, you just want to limit over-eating due to feeling poorly about the upcoming surgery. Forget about losing weight - just get control. How about counting calories?
Mols made a post earlier this year about what people think when they're dying. One of the things that stood out to me was that, when you're dying, you lose your freedom to do things. Here's the quote:
"From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
Your current state of health is limiting you - but you still have a lot of freedom. What can you still do with that?
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 9 February 2012 04:28 pm |
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(((Hiker))) I kind of like Jack's motivational perspective here. I wonder if there's something else you've been hoping to achieve/try in your life which you can focus on during the rehab period as an opportunity. Like maybe a book(s) you have been meaning to read, or volunteering as a mentor in some fashion, or reading to the elderly or something like that. Or - volunteering on course at some races/events if you can't participate directly. I LOVE doing that. It can be so inspirational! They always need course marshalls, no lifting involved.
Anyway, thinking of you with lots of supportive thoughts, at this point you must be ready for Monday to come and get it over with!!
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 04:29 pm |
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Hiker, did you ever decide to try that St. John's Wort or something that helps with stress and depression?
Sometimes our bodies just get fatigued from all the stresses and that makes us more prone to depression. There might be something that could help and you wouldn't necessarily have to take it long term. There are several other herbs that also help with mood and overall body health. Two that I like are Schizandra berry and Ashwagandha.
It might make things in life a bit easier to deal with. Not for the sake of weight loss, but for the sake of happiness.
It sure is the pits to not feel well whether it is physical ailments, or mood - they are intertwined and connected. So anything that affects you, emotionally or physically will affect all systems - emotionally and physically.
It's ok to give yourself a break and take time to feel better. Don't be so hard on yourself.
There are times when I feel depressed and the circumstances in my life are a contributing factor. I know I should snap out of it, but I just can't. The stresses, both physically and mentally on my body are too much. My body gets out of balance and it struggles. Rest, fresh air, sunshine and a quiet environment all help, but when I take an adaptogen herb, like the Schizandra it helps me noticeably. I feel better - comforted, but not in a "loopy, high" sort of way. In a "I can deal with this" way and both of those herbs seem to improve my brain function. Of course everyone is different and different things help different people.
I don't want to tell you what you should do. We all have to decide what is best for ourselves. I just want you to feel better. And I sympathize with what you're going through.
I don't think you're full of self pity. I think it's more that you have high expectations of yourself.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 05:35 pm |
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Hiker...........look at how lucky you are to have such supportive friends on CPH! That should perk you up a bit
I do understand what you are saying though..........I think we've all been through similar times. I don't feel like I've felt really good for 2.5 years! This thing with tendonitis in my ankle has gotten me down too........and I self-medicated through the pain with food (being Ibuprofen upsets my stomach).....didn't realize that's what I was doing though, until my scaled registered that I'd gained 22 lbs since last October!
I find when I get down, because of not being able to do things (I'd kill to be able to go for a 30 minute walk again!) the Lord provides me with a peek at someone who is truly much worse off than I am. (Like Jack's SIL) I have to re-learn that I need to be thankful for the blessings I've been given, instead of getting down over the things I can't do!
You will do that too, Hiker! I know it. And I'll be thinking of you, and praying for a VERY successful surgery for you on Monday.
{{{{ HUGS !!!! }}}}
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 9 February 2012 05:56 pm |
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Mols, Jack, Sassy, Hisgal, thank you all so much.
It is really great to have so much support and some great perspcetives. I do appreciate all of you and I am glad I have been on this site with such a great group of people.
Thanks again, it really means a lot.
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JamesH
New Member
| Joined: | 27 November 2011 |
| Location: | Alabama USA |
| Posts: | 189 |
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Posted: 10 February 2012 02:22 am |
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Hiker, you can get through this. Just remember to follow through with the PT as directed. That will be hard but necessary for full recovery and the quicker you can get to a full recovery the quicker you can get back to a normal routine. I myself am still paying the price (small one) for a broken leg several years ago by not following through with the PT, leg is still weak and balance on that leg is terrible. Stay positive and fight through the pain and you will succeed.
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Hisgal
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2012 02:53 pm |
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Hiker, how are you doing post surgery?
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Sassykat
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 15 February 2012 03:46 pm |
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I was thinking about you yesterday, wondering if it was the day of your surgery.
I hope all is well and you heal quickly. They always told me to eat high protein meals after I had my babies and after the one surgery I had.
Take good care of yourself.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 26 February 2012 10:05 pm |
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Hey guys, thanks for the well wishes.
I am back, I can return to work tomorrow and although I am on restrictions I am moving forward. Now if I can only do the same for my eating. My eating the past two weeks has been abysmal, sitting on the couch is really bad but I make it even worse by eating way too much of stuff I shouldn't be eating at all. I really need to recommit.
"Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content." I don't know who origanlly posted this...maybe MollyMoo? In any case I saw it posted in Jack's diary by Zen and I really liked it so I copied it. It really hit a nerve and I wanted to put in in my diary so I can refer back to it.
I am 18 months form retirement and I really want to get this weight thing under control before then, I have lots of plans and I need to keep healthy if I want to complete them. I may work beyond that depending on finances but at least for now that is my goal and in any case it won't be more than 2 years so now is the time for me to get this going.
My plan....reduce portions and get rid of the "junk" food. I can do this, I know I can I just have to want it enough. It is a choice and I just have to make it.
Last edited on 26 February 2012 10:06 pm by Hiker
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 26 February 2012 11:57 pm |
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Hi Hiker, good to see you back. Recovery is such a process. Don't get down about the food you ate while you were in that mode, you can hit the reset button and get back on track going forward. (I, too, am doing that starting today).
Wow, you are retiring in 18 months, that is not so far away at all! I love what you said about wanting to be healthy so you can enjoy it. I just got a big smile on my face because I need to remember that too! It doesn't get any easier, and that's all the reason to do it "today". Thanks for the inspiration.
I'm glad you are going back to work, I am sure that getting back to a normal routine will help. Hugs!!!
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 27 February 2012 03:32 pm |
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Hiker wrote:
"Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content." I don't know who origanlly posted this...maybe MollyMoo? In any case I saw it posted in Jack's diary by Zen and I really liked it so I copied it. It really hit a nerve and I wanted to put in in my diary so I can refer back to it.
Hiker, it was in fact Molly Moo who posted those entries around New Years, and I've been thinking about them myself.
On the dieting - I have recently lost roughly five pounds, not bad - 162.5 this morning. I've been focusing on trying to eat smaller portions, and drinking *lots and lots* of tea. Also, working out at Planet fitness about an hour a day. Also - and here is an example of something which is *extremely rare* for me. I was eligible for a free pastry at Panera. Instead of doing as I normally would do, and immediately picking out the biggest, most expensive, disgusting pastry there and wolfing it down like a famished beast in the wild, I picked out the carrot cake only *when I was leaving*. And I brought it home and shared it with my wife after dinner. I can't stress how unlike me this is, and can only attribute it to 1) being full at the time I left b) putting lots of honey in my tea while I was there and 3) hating to give back those *hard earned" pounds I've recently lost.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2012 01:57 pm |
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Well, I am still not eating well and a big part of it is I am stressing over life. Mostly I am worried about retiring. The strange thing is I have planned for retirement since I was 12 years old...I am serious. I think because I was born into a family that were all in their 40's by the time I was old enough to eavesdrop they were concerned about retirement and finances so I seriously went to my older brother (who would have been about 27) and asked him if he could help me start a retirement plan. Of course he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. But I only mention that to point out is has been a lifelong thing with me.
Then I got married and I was adamant that my husband start a 401K and put in the max allowed each year, we were married for 13 years so it was adding up but..guess what an idiot I am...when we divorced I forgot all about it and he got to keep it all!
So that meant I didn't really start saving until I was 35, which I know is a lot better than a lot of people but 20 years late in my estimation. So now I am less than 2 years away, my financial adviser and my accountant have both reassured me I have the funds, why do I ask them if I don't beleive the??? I am not going to be rich by any means and the hit the 401K took when the market crashed was big but they still say I will be fine, I can do some traveling and live OK but still...I keep looking at the numbers and say "really" I am just not sure. My husband is retiring at the same time and he is ready to go and I do want to be with him and enjoy our time but I am really stressing. My quandary... I could work another year or two beyond the plan but even if I do I suspect I will feel the same way then. I am kind of thinking I am never going to be comfortable with the number.
My mother retired with SS only and I saw how poor a life she would have if she actually tired to live on that. She lived with me so she had a decent lifestyle but if she hadn't the SS would barely pay for rent and necessities. I know I have more than SS but still it just haunts me.
So what does all this have to do with losing weight and diet...not a lot. I just needed to vent and it is I believe somewhat related to my eating.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2012 05:06 pm |
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Hiker - look at it this way - first of all, it is two years off. Maybe more. Secondly - you'll be able to travel? Wow? That's really great. Frankly, I'm jealous of how well you've done. I anticipate stretching pennies and certainly not doing much traveling, if at all, in retirement. Kind of like we're doing now. I'm prepping for that lifestyle.
If you don't feel comfortable, work the extra year or two. I'm planning on working till I'm 69, if they let me, to max out whatever SS might be available. It won't be fun being retired if I'm stressing all the time about money. If that's the you you'll feel, then enjoy the opportunity to work at a job that you don't hate, and build more security. It's how you feel about it that's the most important thing.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2012 05:25 pm |
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Thanks Jack but one of the big things pushing me is that my husbands health is not great, I want us to do as much as we can together while we can. I would never forgive myself if I worked that extra 2 years and he was no longer able to travel becuase he really wants to. So I sort of know I have to retire a year from July but it's stressful. Truefully I know me, I will probably never feel 100% secure.
I hate to hear you have to work until your 70, unless that is what you want. I hope at least you got to do the things you wanted before you had a family? Sometimes that is the trade off, do those things in your 20's and early 30's and then settle down. I did it the other way, married at 19 to someone who already had 3 kids so I was raising kids since I was 19, the good part about doing it young...I'm done . Both ways have advantages.
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2012 06:01 pm |
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Hiker - I see what you mean about traveling time with your husband. Well, yeah, it's a tough call. You know from Mol's new year's post is one of the regrets people have when they die is that they did too much work, and didn't spend enough time with their family. When you're on your deathbed, you have a very clear perception of how maybe you should've lived your life.
If the accountants are all saying you're in good shape, then you've got some very good backup for the retire earlier argument. They rarely line up on that side of things, in my experience.
Obviously I wouldn't work until I'm seventy unless I had to. But, I did have a chance to travel quite a lot when I was younger. So, I guess I can't gripe about that. We've go a lot of equity in the house, although the value took a hit in the recession. My wife doesn't earn a salary so, that of course is going to affect the retirement account. But, she knows how to shop and keep expenses down, so, that's kind of the route we're heading down. The good news is our hobbies are cheap - tennis and guitar for me, singing, sewing and watching movies from the library for her. I plan to sing on the Red Line for some pocket change when I retire. How's that sound for fun :)Last edited on 1 March 2012 06:03 pm by jackbenimble
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 1 March 2012 06:08 pm |
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| Let me know which stop and I will be sure to drop a $10 in your case . Heck for all the good adivse you share...make it a $20.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 2 March 2012 02:29 am |
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Hiker wrote: So now I am less than 2 years away, my financial adviser and my accountant have both reassured me I have the funds, why do I ask them if I don't beleive the??? I am not going to be rich by any means and the hit the 401K took when the market crashed was big but they still say I will be fine, I can do some traveling and live OK but still...I keep looking at the numbers and say "really" I am just not sure. My husband is retiring at the same time and he is ready to go and I do want to be with him and enjoy our time but I am really stressing. My quandary... I could work another year or two beyond the plan but even if I do I suspect I will feel the same way then. I am kind of thinking I am never going to be comfortable with the number.
Wow, I pretty much could have written that. Except I don't have an accountant or financial advisor and I probably could use them. But, I ask myself this question all the time, how much is enough? I should have enough, but " what happen if I don't"? However, I was talking with someone recently and they said, "there is no number which is ever enough. Enough is a state of mind, a feeling." They had a point.
jackbenimble wrote: But, she knows how to shop and keep expenses down, so, that's kind of the route we're heading down. The good news is our hobbies are cheap - tennis and guitar for me, singing, sewing and watching movies from the library for her. I plan to sing on the Red Line for some pocket change when I retire. How's that sound for fun :)
Sounds great Jack. I know if I "tried" I could learn to live more cheaply than I presently do. And with more free time to shop around, once retired/not working, I'll bet there is a lot of money which can be saved.
Last edited on 2 March 2012 02:33 am by mollymoo24
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jackbenimble
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 March 2012 02:51 am |
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mollymoo24 wrote:
[
jackbenimble wrote: But, she knows how to shop and keep expenses down, so, that's kind of the route we're heading down. The good news is our hobbies are cheap - tennis and guitar for me, singing, sewing and watching movies from the library for her. I plan to sing on the Red Line for some pocket change when I retire. How's that sound for fun :)
Sounds great Jack. I know if I "tried" I could learn to live more cheaply than I presently do. And with more free time to shop around, once retired/not working, I'll bet there is a lot of money which can be saved.
Mols, it's all down to my wife. She reads a lot of money-saving blogs and has gotten hooked on it. It's like a game - she loves to see how much she can squeeze out of the budget. We're down to $90 a week on the food budget, and she's shooting for $85 this month. That's pretty good, I think, especially around here. We've got multiple year's worth of deodorant, toothbrushes, mouthwash, shampoo etc. stored off somewhere. There a lot of coupons involved. It takes time, research and effort and you have to be organized. I could never do it - at least on a sustained basis. But she can. She gets her inspiration from the blogs, reading the encouraging stories from like-minded people.
Sorry for hijacking, Hiker :) Last edited on 2 March 2012 02:52 am by jackbenimble
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
| Joined: | 30 December 2007 |
| Location: | Chicago, USA |
| Posts: | 6271 |
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Posted: 2 March 2012 03:34 am |
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jackbenimble wrote
Mols, it's all down to my wife. She reads a lot of money-saving blogs and has gotten hooked on it. It's like a game - she loves to see how much she can squeeze out of the budget. We're down to $90 a week on the food budget, and she's shooting for $85 this month. That's pretty good, I think, especially around here. We've got multiple year's worth of deodorant, toothbrushes, mouthwash, shampoo etc. stored off somewhere. There a lot of coupons involved. It takes time, research and effort and you have to be organized. I could never do it - at least on a sustained basis. But she can. She gets her inspiration from the blogs, reading the encouraging stories from like-minded people.
Sorry for hijacking, Hiker :)
Wow Jack - that reminds me of the book "The Millionaire Next Door". They talk about the need to play both good "offense" and "defense" financially. Great offense means being a strong breadwinner but if your defense (spending) is poor, then you still aren't going to win the game. Both are important. And it is amazing what we can do to live within our means when we need to.
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Hiker
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 March 2012 10:54 am |
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Jack, I am impressed I live in the same area and we spend twice that. I think we have found your wife a job...one she can do from home. Teach others how to save.
Mols, you are so right, I pretty much suspect I will never have enough. As for the finicail planner your still young and you have a good income, I would strongly suggest you find one. Just be sure it is someone you feel comfortble with and can trust.
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